Friday, December 2, 2011
I Have Been Missing In Action
I have many reasons but no good excuse. My last entry was in mid September. It was just a short blurb about the Pendleton Roundup. We had moved our two horses to a new barn just a few weeks earlier. It had not been our choice. Our old barn had gone self-care. The new barn was nice. It was no further away. It was just something new to get use too.
Both horses have settled in nicely. It has not been quite so easy for me. It's difficult sometimes to accept change. It's difficult to lose the connections with old barn friends. It's sometimes difficult to build new connections, especially if a person is not going to the barn very often. Such is the situation I have made for myself in the past few months.
To top off all the difficulties I've been having dealing with change, I have also been dealing with some health changes. It is amazing how incredibly slow the health care industry moves. In mid October I visited my PCP due to some recurring symptoms I had been having. They had been ongoing for a couple of months prior to the visit and were beginning to scare me. About mid November I finally received all the test results we had been waiting for only to be told I needed to be referred to a specialist. It took almost two more weeks to get an appointment with the specialist and that is not going to happen until December 30th. I've been waiting...and waiting...and waiting. I've put my life on hold and it is finally dawning on me that no matter what I end up dealing with health wise, I just cannot continue to do what I am doing.
I must get back to the things that sustain me. I need to get back to being with my horses. I need to get back to being active. I need to push through the unfamiliar, and the doldrums, and the pain and just be present. So here I am.